


The Horrifying Truth

by Firebog



Category: Supernatural
Genre: LITERALLY, Late Pi(e) Day Silliness, Snarky Pie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-16
Updated: 2014-03-16
Packaged: 2018-01-16 00:21:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1324753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Firebog/pseuds/Firebog
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a month away from the bunker hunting monsters the boys return home to a different kind of monster: Pie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Horrifying Truth

**Author's Note:**

> In honour of Pi(e) day, a bit of silliness (or horror depending on how you feel about it). I know I missed it but I was busy. This unfortunately is based off of a conversation I had with a pie and my roommates at the time with the same results. Yes, the pie talked to me. It was already trying to crawl away, that it developed the powers of speech was not surprising.

No one dared touch it.

No one.

It sat on the table mocking them.

 _Just try it_. It seemed to say, _I fucking dare you._

"It has to be blueberry." Sam said. He had a sick urge to get out a wooden spoon and poke it to see if it would crawl away.

"Dean hates blueberry pie. It's pumpkin." Cas said. He wished he could close the cardboard box it sat in without touching it, just magic it away with his lost grace. Being human had given him a new and well founded terror of moldy things hidden in the fridge. It was a twisted perversion of his new life that this pie sat on their kitchen table instead of hiding in the back of the fridge with the other moldy food.

 _That's right. I'm too good for the fridge._ The pie seemed to gloat, _I'm going to crawl into your room next._

"...no it has to be blueberry. I refuse to believe that this blue pie with a bit of orange is pumpkin." Sam said. He wished he believed his own refusal to believe but Dean _really_ hated blueberry pie.

Dean came into the kitchen to find Sam and Cas staring down at the table like the most awe inspiring thing to have graced the planet had just shrivelled up and died in front of them, "What're we all gawking at?"

 _Me!_ The pie seemed to grin savagely, _The newest member of your household_.

"Dean. Blueberry pie with orange mold?" Sam asked still willing to entertain the notion.

"No. It's pumpkin pie with blue mold." Cas said. He didn't have any illusions about what they were dealing with.

"What? Who bought pie without me?" Dean asked. He thought Sam and Cas were supposed to be family why would they buy pie without him?

 _Oh, but they didn't._ The pie seemed to whisper.

"We didn't." Cas said unknowingly echoing what the pie seemed to whisper. He gestured to the pie. "It was just here."

"So? What is it?" Sam asked. That was a very good question, what _is_ **it**? He wondered if it was even possible to call this thing in front of them pie anymore. It was growing. Pie did not grow. He was definitely going to rock, paper, scissors this and get Dean to clean it up.

 _Yes. What am I?_ The pie seemed to ask, _What terrible new monster have you released into the world? I hear you name new monsters._

Dean went in for a closer look. He had a calendar worked out in his head based upon what pie he had eaten and when. There hadn't been any pumpkin pie in the bunker in six months and blueberry was just outright forbidden because it was horrible. "The last time we had pie was at Christmas just before we left..."

"But..." Cas looked at the pie. He wondered what it meant when your chest tightened up and your face went cold. Was he having a heart attack?

Sam screwed up his face in disgust.

A sort of dread settled over Dean.

The pie seemed to laugh manically at them, _That's right fuckers. Apple._

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, the pie I based this off of really was apple. I was in college at the time. It sat out for three weeks while myself and my roommates were all away visiting family at Christmas. My roommates were having the is it pumpkin or blueberry conversation when I came back and gave them the horrifying truth.
> 
> No, I don't think Dean actually hates blueberry pie.


End file.
